A Long-time Away from My Blog!

It's been a looooong time.  I don't think I've been back here since January.  Maybe a little later then that but it's been awhile!  A lot of things are going on right now.  Some good, some not so good.  (I'm having a little trouble concentrating, I have the TV on.)  I've fallen into this mood, consciousness thing.  I can't seem to pull myself out of it (or I don't want to) and I'm pretty sure what's causing most of it.  I'm hating myself and my environment.  I don't hate too many things but I hate living here right now!  Barry can't seem to understand how unhappy I really am.  I have no ambition to do anything around here and it's just getting worse.  Except for the fact that I don't like the changes in the neighborhood in Newark, I miss the house down there a lot!  It was our home and I my things to look at and to enjoy.  I could have people in to visit, we had our holidays with family.  I have a lot of good memories from living in that house.  Barry and I seemed to have a life.  I love Barry but I can't seem to get him to understand anything anymore.  Sometimes I feel so alone in this house.  I think because of that I've been spending way too much money on my new toys.  I just spent more today and I should feel guilty but I'm not.  I also spend all of my time in front of the TV and the computer.  I'm not to happy about that either.
Ok, enough of that crap.  I have a new hobby.  At least that's what I want to call it now.  I found all of these people on line that remake model horses and it's wonderful!  I just love it and I'm going to try it myself.  That's what I've been spending the money on.  I've got too many now so I really have to stop.  The ones I've been buying now are models to paint and tack to buy.  The tack is also wonderful!  So far I've only made a bridle for the traditional size models but I really love doing it!  Some of the horses I've bought are just beautiful and I won't touch them.  I've also bought some really rough models to practice on.  I've got to get a few things to start painting but I'm pretty much ready to go.  I want to set up a way to keep track of what I'm doing, so for right now I'll just write what's going on.  I make myself crazy though, because I always hesitate to start things because I know I'll make mistakes.  Who cares!!!!!!?
Right now I'm going to take my little tubby wubby Gabe out and clip his hair off.  He's a mess again.