Serious Stuff

It's been a rough couple of weeks.  January is not a good month for me and I could skip it altogether if it were at all possible.  Mom died on the 13th of January and my birthday is on the 20th.  That's a whole other story.  I made it through the 13th without a problem but the birthday turned out to be another story.
My birthday fell on Thursday this year and it was a cold clear day.  I wasn't very excited about it because it just means I'm another year older and still have too many things I want to do.  Anyway, I spend most of my time making sure my mother-in-law is OK and getting around alright.  Thursday morning she was coughing harder then she had been the past few days and she was beginning to sound worse.  I decided she was going to go to see the doctor and ended up seeing the nurse practitioner.  Not a big deal except that G. was having  lot of trouble walking.  The nurse said she thought G. should have an x-ray done of her chest because the cough didn't sound good at all.  We left the doctor's office and went right over to have the x-ray done and I don't think I've ever seen the place as packed with people as on this particular day.  We signed in and sat down and waited patiently for G.'s turn.  When the tech came out to get her, G. could not stand up.  The tech and I tried to get her up so she could use her walker but she couldn't support herself.  The tech got a wheel chair and that was the last time G. walked.  I had to pick up a prescription for her and I stopped to pick up an emergency wheel chair.  I never would have been able to get G. out of the van and into the house without the wheel chair.  I really didn't know what I was going to do with her and I felt so bad.  She just couldn't figure out what had happened.  She couldn't make her legs move at all so she just kind of shuffled when she had to move from the chair to the bed, toilet, etc...............  I really was a little scared for her.  On Friday morning she still couldn't get herself up on her own so I called the doctor's office.  When the nurse practitioner called back I explained what had happened and she said to get her to the hospital.  I really didn't want to call 911 but I knew I had to have her taken to the hospital in an ambulance.  The ambulance arrived pretty quickly and she went right to the ER.  Once there the testing started.  We weren't there very long and the nurse came back and said that G. would have to have blood transfusions!!!  Probably 4 transfusions of whole blood and plasma!!!!  It's no wonder she couldn't walk, she was working with about half the blood her body needs!!!  She was just getting weaker and weaker and no one could figure out why.  Right now she's still in the hospital and after 4 or 5 pints of blood, the doctors still don't know what happened.  One of the reasons she's still in the hospital is because her blood pressure can't be stabilized.  I just feel so bad for her.  She hasn't been able to walk by herself and the doctors want to send her to a nursing home rehab to get her back on her feet.  I know I can't take care of her here at the house so we've (my husband, myself, & my mother-in-law) all decided that this would be the right thing for her.  I know that she is not very happy about this turn of events.  She is terribly shy and everything in life scares her.  (Personally I think this will do her some good.  She really needs to get out and talk to people her own age.)  Seeing G. in the hospital makes me very sad.  I really dislike hospitals.  I know that the people in them try very hard to make you comfortable but it's such an unpleasant atmosphere.  I have a very hard time spending any time in them and I will never spend more than a day in the hospital, even if it means I have to take myself out of there.
It's very strange and quiet here in the house.  Especially at night.  Her oxygen machine is quiet and it makes it a little eerie.  I was hoping that it would mean I could sleep but so far that hasn't made any difference.  I still am not sleeping very well.  Hubby isn't either and he is my other concern.  I'm sort of watching him, because he has been very quiet and a little withdrawn.  Today is the first day we haven't gone to the hospital and he was feeling guilty about that.  I did call her and we talked for about 15 minutes.  I don't know if that helped or not.  By the time he decided he should go over it was getting dark and we have about 4 inches of snow on the ground with rain falling on top of that.  We're suppose to get another 4 to 6 inches on top of what we got today and it's suppose to start tonight.  I don't want any more snow.  I'm tired of it now.
I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow.